Is Your Family Important? Do You Show It? What Are You Doing About It?

“Who are the most important people in your life?”

“If it’s your family…are you showing it?”

“If not…what are you going to do about it?”

These questions are the essence of a wonderful book called “What Kids Wish Parents Knew About Parenting” by Joe White, recommended by Gary Smalley and Josh McDowell. This is an in-your-face book. It does not tiptoe around. It encourages parents to go straight to our children for an evaluation (included in the book) of our parenting skills and to do something drastic about it. He says “…I urge you to strip away – with dynamite, if necessary - everything in your life that doesn’t look like family gold.”

That comment stuck with me. Everything I begin to do I ask myself "Is this family gold?". Everything I touch or look at in my home I have to wonder if it is family gold. I am determined to get rid of all things that are not.

I read hundreds of parenting books and listened daily to family and parenting advice programs while my 18 and 19 year olds were young. I wanted to be the best parent I could be. My full time job was being a quality mother. Somewhere between dealing with a mentally ill and abusive husband and moving around and my own battle with depression, I forgot how to be a quality mother.

While watching Super Nanny, my boys told me that we should call her. Curiously, I asked why. They said she could help us. They wanted her to help get their father back into our family. I firmly said that was not possible. But, they also wanted me to devote more time to them, to make them feel important to me. Ouch! I decided I need to make some changes in my behavior but I was not sure where to start.

The next week while watching Super Nanny they suggested that we call her again. I asked them to be more specific as to what they hope she would do for us. They said that they want me to spend more time with them, play games and do projects with them and other things which are basically quality time.

I am a full time, homeschooling stay at home mom. My life is supposed to be devoted to my children. I felt that I was giving them enough of me, but their comments tell me that I am very wrong. I thought that much of their troubles were from tragic life circumstances (that is another blog) but I was terribly wrong. I have been too involved in myself and chores that I had forgotten to stop and fully listen and respond as I would any other human being, instead I had been somewhat blowing them off when it was not convenient for me to listen ( such as while I am writing this ).

I decided that I need a refresher in quality parenting. Thank GOD for Super Nanny. Thank GOD for my children’s ability to tell it to me like it is. Thank GOD for putting this book in my hands at the perfect time. I picked it up the other day at a book sale for a quarter and thought I may read it someday. Well, someday is now.